I'm not done yet.

Good morning people.

It's been about a month since I last posted anything. So let me update the world. I am currently still 20. Nothing's changed :)
I wanted to talk about just a couple of words from a song I listened to the other day.
Maxwell. Lifetime. The first line of his song really caught me off guard, and I've been thinking about the words ever since. (The Words) "I was reborn when I was broken" Ok, now I don't know if the words caught me because they reside within each other. Born/Broken. That stuck out to me. and it made me think of how powerful words are because for some reason these words are pretty much reaching out to me. I'm being broken...I've been broken for a while, and you know I would try to talk to my friends and try to fix the problem. But I realized there's nothing they can do about my problems. And this is where I started to grow.
This is how I'm trying to get you to grow. Being reborn when you are broken to me means something deeper than other people. It's you. It's a decision you have to make. you can choose to be broken, and stay that way. Or just take what you've been dealt with and play the cards the best way you can. It's life broken down into a sentence about rebirth. We let life break us down, and we give up. And That's not what it's about. You can let it all pass you by, or you can just try and try. Words from the artist.
All I'm asking is that you just think about your problems and really realize they're not problems but opportunities and doorways to something better, something more. Words can mean anything you want them to. Forget about social definitions. and define life. Your way.

Peacefully yours, Krystal
just live.

If we are what we write then you are beautiful

What's up everybody. I haven't really posted in a while. Band camp, and other things have been consuming a lot of my time. Emotionally spent, as well as physically. I lost a good friend on thursday. He was 23, just had a newborn child, and was getting ready to graduate from college. This isn't my first time losing a friend..but it hurts just the same. All I can do is pray and hope he's in a better place right now.
I don't have anything interesting to say. I just hope you cherish the people you're with..because you know that saying..people are here today gone tomorrow..should go more like. People are here today..gone today. Death is a scary thing..but it is the next step in life. Everyone has to take that step regardless of whether they're ready or not. Just make sure your spirit is in the right place. No religion necessary(In my opinion)Whoever our God/Allah/Buddha etc. I don't believe they'd judge us by religions. evil in any religion is still evil. Just try to be the best person you can be today, and worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.

I love you
Krystal.

Interruption of Thoughts (Pt. 2)

Today is Devon's Birthday. She turns 21 today. I've tried to not cry, but they already started flowing. I'm not sure I want to stop the tears, she's worth them. I wish I could talk to her again. She's my sister. Passed away from Cancer, and she was the strongest person no matter how weak she became. I love her. I'll talk to you all later.

Interruption of thoughts(long one..pt1 of the beginning)

Hey Everyone. I'm really thinking on some serious stuff. So much so I took a vacation from all the social networking sites..Twitter, and Facebook.
I have so many thoughts, sometimes I have to take a break to really interpret my own thoughts. This is me soul searching, and I'm looking. retrospection in full force apparently. And I don't know what to talk about. So this blog might be long. What I'm going through now. I'm in this constant state of intuitive reasoning. If we're supposed to follow our intuition, because apparently it'll never lead you in the wrong direction. So does that mean our intuition is the Godliness in us? Never leading us astray, sometimes we don't listen to it, but it's always there. That feeling that even though you may not consciously know what's going on or if what you're doing is for a reason. You know what's going on. To interrupt a thought..something has to erupt. maybe another thought..or maybe our thoughts have minds of their own. We can't control things that have a mind of their own. And sometimes I wish we could. I think I'm gonna do a video blog soon. What about tears? I wanna dissect a tear, maybe tear it into pieces for breaking me up. Tears are just another part of me that people don't see. There's so much I put out for people to see. yet they never see. Intuition fails once again I guess. They forget to listen to the Godliness in them. I've been holding in my writing for a long time. My writing is equivalent to my feelings. So when I don't write, I don't cry, I don't feel, This pen was a part of me way before I acknowledged it, and these words are the only way I know how to release the God in me, just so others can feel him. I'm not a deeply religious person, but I've been denying this for so long, it just felt appropriate, normal even. I lost him way before I lost Devon, and I'm just now acknowledging that. Maybe Devon was the tear that tore me apart. Maybe.

Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing) (Live at Harmony Festival 2010)

If she's back..2010 will officially be one of the best years for me as far as music goes for me. Just greatness.

Queen God Is Brave New Voices 2009 Part 1

There are no words to describe this. I'm speechless. I've watched it over and over..and it just gets better and better

Assignment #2

I reread your assignment after I read this, and I believe I went the wrong way and ran with it. I hope it's ok though. Each stanza is a different life. Or a different part of me that I've put away, or maybe still have. Idk if that makes any sense. Hope you enjoy


My pores are open, susceptible to everything..except knowledge
Accept knowledge..let everything in Oil, Toxins, cocoa butter..but
Not able to contain my soul..my pores were
My soul had grown thin, easier to stretch out, and find people didn’t need it
I found out too late..that’s when my elasticity left..I can’t stretch like I used to
(tired of caring)

The eyes are windows to the back of my head
When I’m looking at you unguarded..my eyes then are the windows to my soul
The windows are cracked though, or trapped shut by paint
I don’t want you to get cut digging through my essence..it’s sharp sometimes
(caring about your safety, cause dealing with me isn’t)

I need to do some self help type maintenance handy woman type stuff
Does anyone know how to mend a broken heart, or fill in a pair of empty eyes
If you know someone..I have a job for you
Maybe we could try to cover up the dirty walls of my heart
Hide the secrets..make the walls feel pretty so the won’t tell
You know walls talk
And maybe if I gave them a new coat, they’d feel nice enough to not speak
To the world, I’d sometimes like to not be a part of
(Needy, and maybe hopeful)

Your eyes are mirrors reversed
When I look in them, I see your perception of me..how you see me
Wow, didn’t know you saw so little of me
This tiny reflection of me in the gloss of your eyes
Gets clouded in the mist of mine
I’m sorry…I couldn’t help it
My eyes let everything in, when my pores pour everything out
I don’t have control of that though
(Truth)

I need some life exfoliation
Maybe I could feel alive just this once
As a special treat for attempting this assignment
I think I at least deserve that
I can’t keep my soul in
And my body is missing it
Their eyes can’t see it
But then again it takes nothing to see, and everything to feel
most people are stuck in the middle
(Realization of things I once thought were real)

BlackberryBusiness

Excuse the random title..it means nothing. I thought about a friend today. Her name is Devon. One of the coolest, friendliest, genuine people I've ever met in my life. She knows every song that comes on the radio, and always has a smile on her face no matter how much pain she was ever in. I wish you could meet her, but she passed away in February 2008. Her boyfriend gave her flowers for valentines day in a graveyard. She had cancer. She helped me through my troubles when all I could do was watch her get sicker. Her attitude never changed. Always happy, I'm sure she still is. She was one of the first people I met when I got to school, and we had been tight since the first day..down to the last. I spoke to her the night she passed away. I'm not sure she knew if that was the last time we would ever speak. But I told her " I love you so much, and you'll always be my sister" and we cried. It was hard for me then, and it still is now. I wanted to share this because I wanted other people to know it's ok sometimes that things aren't under our control. Everything was out of my hands, so I could hold her hand. So I could be there for Devon, just as she was there for me. We're both stronger because of it. *Sisters for Life* I promised I would never forget her..I'm not. I'm making sure people know who she is, while I remember her.

Lauryn Hill - I Gotta Find Peace of Mind [MTV Unplugged]

My mood at the moment(After writing Who I want to be at 25)

An Assignment( A writing one)

I spoke to a new friend on facebook, and he gave me an assignment. I'm really taking my poetry serious, and trying to take it to a new level. So any opportunities to work with other writer...I'm jumping at it.
The assignment was to write who I want to be at 25(and to really be honest with myself)
I want to be myself at age 25
The Krystal I imagine myself to be. I want to be the Krystal I(I can't stress that I enough) want to be. I really and ultimately just want to be happy. I don't want a family of my own so soon, that's only 5 years from now, kinda enjoying the single thing right now. I want to be able to provide for my sisters, and parents. and look back on my short life, and say I can do more, and get up and do it. I would like to be really starting my career at that time, not a job, but a career. I once heard that if you really love your job, then you've never worked a day in your life. That's how I hope it will be for me. I want to be Krystal, the Poet,the Queen, The Sister, The Lover, The worker, The supporter at 25.. simple, but not really.
I don't want to be like people in my area, and I don't want to be a statistic anymore than the next black 20 year old. I want to be free.

Ok, time for some serious talk. This guy tried to talk to me earlier. I didn't have a problem with it..whatI did have a problem with is the fact that he already has a girl and she's his "baby mama", has pictures of the two hugged up all over facebook and everything. Not to mention his girlfriend is a friend of mine from band in high school. Granted we're not the closest friends(I've rarely seen or heard from her since I graduated) but what kind of person tries to step out on their pregnant girlfriend..thinking I'm too dumb, or just won't care to try and figure out if he's just running game..umm he clearly got the wrong one. I'm not trying to put all the business out, but this is what happens when people don't come correct. So..guys when you try to play...most girls are always two or more steps AHEAD of you..step it up, and don't play. I'm pretty sure I'll add more to this blog later on today..so umm keep swimming(I have yet to come up with a signature salutation...I might just start calling you all normies)

Queen -- Bohemian Rhapsody with lyrics

This song needs no words(well except for the lyrics). I like it, hope you guys like Queen as well.

Esperanza Spalding "She Got To You" on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Awesometisity at it's finest...I've been following her for a while now. And everytime I hear her she pretty much blows me away all over again..not to mention her fro is awesome in this video

State of Krysis

I wanted to explain the title of my blog.
A state of Krysis, is my state of mind. and I thought Krysis was an accurate description. Krysis is actually a crisis, with my own twist into it. My mind is usually this chaotic structure..full of rubble, and new things. Catastrophic thoughts sometimes. A State of Krysis, is my way into letting people know what goes on inside my head to a certain extent. What I put on my blog, are my opinions, thoughts, views, favorite music, and everything else, that might come to mind. So I guess this should have been included in my first post, but as you can see it's not. so Welcome..read the old posts to catch up, or maybe try to grasp something to hold onto, lol...the ride into my mind is NOT gonna be the easiest in any way. If you are pregnant or have a heart condition..this blog is not for you..and you must be *THIS* tall to read, lol..just kidding. Anyway..hope you guys enjoy!

The Fugees - Rumble In The Jungle (feat. Busta Rhymes, ATCQ)

Summer Learning

Good Morning everyone!
I'm home for the first time this summer. and there's nothing much going on..I'm happy to say. Church went well, and my grandmother has a demon dog. He bites, talks back, poops..everything a baby does..and he also chewed up my heels........... umm yeah, not the best moment for either of us, lol. But he's a sweetheart. I was on my Lauryn Hill/ Fugees flow earlier. Just listening to music, and thanks to a poet I was able to see a lil wayne video of a song I actually like..it was very socially conscious. I'm not surprised because I have this idea..that most rappers are extremely smart, which is why they were able to make it and others weren't. Survival of the fittest and the select few became mega rich..Hollywood's own version on Darwinism and Evolution. We have descended fro the age of Tupac..to the the era of Wocka Flocka, and Soulja Boy...yeah..it's not a promising future..but there are the few who stand out.

Truly Me

This is moreso for myself today. I'm in this spaced out/zoned in mood. Under the influence of myself. Sometimes it's good feeling..but I've learned throughout the years...it can be a bad feeling too. But I'm thankful..without my down moments..I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate the times when I'm truly happy.
If your soul itches...scratch it

Exams are finally over *sigh of relief*
I have this need to write you guys..I guess its passion?? I'm not sure. whatever. There have been a couple of changes in my life..nothing too important. I am now a College Senior, that's pretty cool. I got a blackberry(TeamBlackberry where you at!!) and I'm a beast at taboo..you guys don't want to see me in that game..answers like Hillary Clinton just pop off the dome like Georgia. I've recently attained some leadership roles in two different but equally important organizations. I'm excited about that and what the future holds for us. It's been a while since I last updated this..but I'm going to try to remain constant with it. I'm sure Blackberry has some kind of app so that we can make this work. My future plans in a nutshell for the summer.. Work at High School Band Camp(ILOVEBAND), Summer School, Start memorizing my poetry, try to write whenever I can, and love as hard as I can.. that's all for now. No quirky comments, pretentious smiles through text..just..bye

Update

What's up bloggers. So far my weekend has been awesome. I'm already well rested. Friday my entire family came up to the school..so I did the whole impromptu chauffeur thing. Last minute tour guide..whichever you prefer. It had to be like 100000000 degrees..I was dyin out there..and I had to walk beside my grandfather( he was going super fast) He was on a scooter..How do you leave the tour guide!! Eventually he slowed down and let me catch up with him. The rest of my family followed in the nice air conditioned truck. My uncle was actually getting honored by the school..he's a very accomplished individual..and I'm proud to say I'm related. Hopefully that'll be me someday. I think I'm gonna use this blog as my documentary as I attempt to dive into the world of poetry. I'm a swimmer..but I'm drowning in a sea of big fish..I want to be a name someday..not necessarily a household name..but even if only one person recognizes my name because of my poetry..I'll be a happy poet..It's not about me..it's about my messages..sometimes..granted I have no idea what I'm trying to say; the words just come out. Others get it though..and for me thats all that matters. On another note..My sister went to prom today! She was soooo beautiful..she's a queen. and tonight was her night..I'm happy she enjoyed it.
Good night everyone
I'm waving at you from my bed
I'm not on pluto..decided to stay grounded for the weekend
Jah Bless(Emancipate yourselves) Get Free

Cell phones in school

My youngest sister's letter to the editor Cell phones in school

Lil Wayne and Red Lobster's Cheddar Biscuits..one is legendary..one is not

Good Morning everyone..all one of you(and you're enough!) I woke up with a poem on my lips wanting to be held by the fingertips...and spread gently from my palm to the pen..but I didn't have one so I just wrote the beginning in a note on my phone. The dream was a poem..but I could just see it happen..I dream in color by the way..get ALL the channels you can't think of. It was about a guy(typical right??) but it was so much more than that. He wanted to hold my hand..and we both wanted to write..it was a mutual love.. He whispered to me "lets right something together..maybe let our pens hold hands walkin down the street..holding every word I couldn't dare speak..ink tied tongue dyed tickle me pink. I love you" and this is where I came in."If I couold figure out what color love is..by the color of your tears it'd be teardrop clear so beautiful and see through. transparent like the ghosts in our closet..but we'll write them out eventually" or maybe it was him speaking the whole time..either way. I have a couple of different interpretations..maybe Poetry loves me as much as I love poetry..Poetry for me.isn't just words spoken or written down..it's alive in all of us..luckily for me, I'm not the only one who knows this..many other like-souled people in this world. But the dream shook me..not necessarily disturbed me..it was such a gentle, and loving wake up call..and a beautiful way to wake up.." I woke up to a poem..and thought about it all day" Positive Energy flow
I'm grounded today
my dream really woke me up
Kings and Queens..Be Easy.. Get Free
Krysis

Ground Zero and Onions

Hello World!..well..today my debut as a poet didn't go as well as I planned..cause it didn't go at all. I am a member of an organization and some events came up today. I learned at the last minute.that these events would coincide with the open mic night I was trying to participate in. I'm in a few organizations, and I have duties to fulfill being a member. I had to put me on hold..my dream..so I'm feeling a little sad about it. because I REALLY wanted to do it..but at the same time I was scared so I was a tad bit relieved...but enough with the feeling bad. I talked to a poet tonight( Iactually made it in time to see the closing performer at the open mic night..which also hurt..but she was awesome!!)he told me there is another poetry night saturday from a different group..and I got HIS number(definitely gonna be using it)! BAOW!..PLUS(the good news doesn't stop there!) I talked to another poet..he's a published poet who reads his stuff often. he gave me his card..I PLAN on using it..tomorrow. annnndd I got invited to a cipher of some sorts..with some people who are interested in the arts like I am..sooo all is not over..I will prevail..if I have to exploit(In the best possible way imaginable..no explicits)my talents..so be it..I want it..it's not going to be given to me..so I'm going to take it.
Feeling pretty
righteous right now.. This Sagittarius is now
surfing the milky way..looking for a snack.
FREE..get some...and the earth says
hello..I see it waving from here(no longer
on pluto)

Chicken flavored Noodles is a vegetarian dish

Well..Good morning People..I was thinking..and I came across the idea that my blog is nothing but a huge status update.in which I really elaborate on What's on my mind..Facebook asks me all the time..and I always feel obliged to answer. Well continuing on from my last post..there was a fight outside my dorm last night..big ups to the college students..quality education and yet still beating each other up instead of lifting..descension is the opposite of ascension..so does that mean the opposite of progress is congress??..hmm something to think about I guess..There were birds chirping outside my window..at approximately 3:17 am...die birds..die..that's all I have to say on that matter. I want to let you guys know more about me..whoever chooses to read this..thank you.you are very important in life..and will go far after you read my blog...I'm enlightening like that. I am a poet,queen,SISTER(three lovely sisters) daddy's princess,a Goddess in my mind, clumsy,forgetful,awkward, a musician, hungry..for success and food, a writer, a lover, a fighter..if need be, and last but not least a student..Oh yeah..I'm educated and gaining more as I type...I almost forgot..I'm broke. Just got out of class. it ends at 10:50 my next one is at 3..got some papers to type..but I wanted to add some stuff..I attend South Carolina State University..I love this school even with..mean financial aid ladies, mean cafeteria ladies, and mean teachers..for every negative there's at least three positives. It's an HBCU(Historically Black Colllege or University) I'm black by the way if I haven't mentioned that before..African American with speckles of everything else your mind can wrap it's lips around. That's not the reason I decided to attend an HBCU though. I fell in love with the atmosphere here..compared to a PWI(Primarily White Institution). The hbcu gave me a much more homelike feel. I felt comfortable immediately. You can get a quality education anywhere...books are the same, and the teachers aren't tooo different..you do have a few golden apples out the bunch. I always hear people comparing the two types of schools. I think you get the same from both schools as far as education goes..but as far as the environment, experience, and everything in between. It's up to the student. We take what we want from it. I love my HBCU..I'm sure if I would have gone to a "white" school I'd love it just the same..but on to more important matters... Birds chirping outside my window at 3:17 in the am..I think they have a death wish..I'm a good stone thrower..and I believe in the saying kill two birds with one stone..literally. I'm also a little nervous. Today I'll be performing, or reading my poetry for the first time ever. It's a little intimidating..all my private thoughts, and ideas...being exposed to the world. I want to change the world..one poem at a time..as a lawyer or politician..one case at a time. t's going to happen..the ways this change will come about is yet to be known by me...but I'm determined. And now to get onto this paper...as always...FREE.... Get some
The Earth says hello
I see her waving from PLuto
Jah bless(Not Rastafarian..but God is the same in every culture..to me)

My noodles are soggy and me and gravity don't see eye to eye(I'm tall today)

Hello World?! Welcome to Me!
I'm 20. Political Science major..planning on being a lawyer someday..maybe from Brooklyn Law School or Penn State.
On to more important stuff..My noodles are soggy..after trying to decide what I was gonna write on this thing..going over and over in my head what prolific, and wonderful thing I was gonna say in my first solo blog..I just decided to go with the flow..do the natural thing. Just like my hair..there are cultures in my kinks..but I digress. My noodles have soaked up their environment..gotten big all by themselves..I should be proud(if they were anything other than noodles) but they're not..so I'm about to trash them. Ramen. A college student's best friend..where else can you get a 20 cent meal..I'll tell you. Nowhere..so don't waste your time looking..it's a much better deal than that expensive dollar menu.. It is currently 1:54 am on Wednesday April 14, 2010..ohhshoot..it's a best friend's bday! we'll handle that later...I don't plan on this being the last time I blog..I'm not a one hit quit type a gal...nor am I the beat skeet delete type either..I'm here for a while..until I grow tired(but I probably won't so you should follow me if you can, you can get lost in the cracks of my mind..stay on the sidewalk..you'll get run over by thoughts) literally I can't control them..but this should be an interesting ride. I'm not done by a long shot..but who's gonna read a super long blog? I will..soo I guess I'll keep going..I'm a poet, I freestyle...in my mind. thats the only place we're really free.. but we're still hindered by our subconscious, conscious, and dangerous thoughts..but I'm about to let it all out..woop woop for free... Get some...
Krysis loves you
The earth says hello..I see
it waving from pluto